WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
