just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize