I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
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