I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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