He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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