he thought i was a dude.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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