I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize
