I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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