we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
