just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
