If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
