I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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