Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
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