fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Randomize
