I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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