I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
