seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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