I never want to see another naked old woman again.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
