I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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