mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize