peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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