Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
