im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
