is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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