How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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