WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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