Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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