my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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