At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize