I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
