kristin has been a bad kristin
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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