some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize