after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
