STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
