It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
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