PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
