Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
