I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
