i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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