so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
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I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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