Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
