have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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