is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
