This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
