So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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