I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
