Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
