Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Semen is not good for contacts.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
