Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
