I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
