Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
