Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?