That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together