I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Not as such, no.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...