I want to walk on stilts...naked
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
