eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
