i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
