Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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