I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Randomize
