I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I skipped work to stalk him.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
