ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
