the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
