lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
