considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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