Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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