i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
