GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.