ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
